In order to
engage more effectively with my students, I had a habit of sitting backwards on
student desks. Most schools have four legged chair/desk combos. Some schools
have the chair with the desk that opens up on the right side and is suspended
by the arm attached to the chair. The four legs are on the chair, not the desk.
Anyone with half a brain would take one look at the chair with the desk
appendage and see that attempting to sit on it is a pretty stupid idea.
At one point I had a very small class of three students who were in need
of extra support and attention. Two of the boys were from Jamaica, barely spoke
English, and were having a terrible time at school. They were very nice but far
enough apart in age that they should have been separated. Alas, they were not.
Another student was a boy whose father was stationed at the nearby Hanscom
Airforce Base. He had a rather southern twang to his voice but had come down
from Maine. The three of them and me were all an awkward combination, no doubt
about it.
One fine day I went to sit on the desk, feet on the chair. I am what
could be described as 'bottom heavy' and when I dropped all of my weight onto
the desk, it teetered a bit. I was able to remain on the desk, but I looked at
the kids and said, "Oh wow...imagine if I fell? I need to be more
careful." They smirked and that was it...until the next day.
As I stated above, a person with half a brain would never sit the way I
had chosen to. A person with a full brain wouldn't have tempted fate by doing
the same the very next day. Clearly I was void of both at that point because I
threw one leg over the desk onto the chair and dropped my weight onto the desk
as I brought the other leg over. The other leg went over alright. As a
matter of fact, they both did, right over my head. The minute I plunked my
large, solid behind on the desk it was all over. The desk began to fall
forward, so I was falling backwards. Instead of sticking out a leg and standing
up to let the desk fall, I let the desk take me right over so that I fell in
the chair in front of me, scraping my back as it slid down the seat and I
landed on the floor, legs straight up, body in a perfect human V.
At first the kids did nothing. They just stared, mouths agape, as I
rolled over onto my hands and knees and pushed myself up. Thank God I was
wearing pants. As I was untangling myself from the chairs and floor, I could
only say, "It's ok. Ha ha, I'm fine! I'm fine!" and laughed awkwardly
at what had just occurred. I mean, seriously -- what else was I going to do? My
back was sore and I had been in probably the most compromising position those
kids had seen and would ever see a teacher fall into. Unless, of course, they
followed me in my career and saw the other times I bit it. They just sat and
stared. No one asked if I was okay. They just stared. Finally I broke the ice
and said, "It's okay guys, you can laugh. Go ahead--you might as well
because if I were you, I'd be laughing." The boy from Maine was elated at
the release of laughter he had been stifling. The other two just smiled.
"I'm sorry Miss D, but that was funny. REALLY funny." Yeah, I
know kid, I was the one on the floor. I gave my best smile, picked up my book,
DID NOT sit backwards on the desk, and attempted to continue teaching. Later
that day I told a fellow teacher about my stunt and asked her to look at my back.
Sure enough, through her howling laughter, she exclaimed, "Oh my God! You
have a huge scrape from your mid back to your ass!" It was tender, that is
for certain, mainly because of the junk in the trunk, which has successfully
saved me and preserved the rest of my body with it's excellent shock absorbing
qualities. Thank God it was the only time I had to use it to cushion a desk
fall. Falling down the stairs when my shoes were slippery on the bottom and I
took out two students as I went down, that is another story entirely.
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